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How Parents REALLY Raise Children

Published:
1-July-2005

by Silvana Clark

It happens after every speech. A parent, smiling sheepishly, gestures for me to meet with her in a corner of the room. There, the true confession begins. Not a confession of illicit crime or rampant binging on hot fudge sundaes. No, this confession deals with a mom or dad whispering, "Let me tell you what I did with my kids".

As an author and professional speaker, I frequently give presentations on creative parenting techniques. My ideas are obviously not creative enough; because someone always meets me after my program to share some funny and outlandish thing they did in their efforts to be a responsible parent. One dad told me his clever plan to help his daughter learn fractions. "She just didn't get the idea of how to add 1/2 plus 3/4." He said. "So we got very graphic by making chocolate chip cookies. Instead of just having her double the recipe, we quadrupled the recipe! She learned to add fractions and I got some great cookies."

The following are some child rearing tips gleaned from "professional experts". You'll find their advice insightful and useful. You'll also find tips from parents on what they really did. That advice is insightful and downright funny.

The experts say:

Try exposing your children to new experiences. Every child needs to gain a greater awareness of their world. Eat lunch at an ethnic restaurant. Take your children to a musical if they've never been exposed to live theater. Watch your son's reaction as he sees a theatrical hero suddenly burst out in song singing, "OKLAHOMA ….where the wind comes sweeping down the plain…" Check local newspapers to find low-cost events that give children the chance to participate in art shows, sporting events or even volunteer work.

Here's what a parent really did:

For several days, a group of local college students staged a protest in our downtown area. They wanted a piece of property turned into a community park instead of a new office building. The "Pit Protesters" as they called themselves, attached bicycle locks around their necks and to a tall sculpture in the middle of the pit. Several other students built seats on the sculpture and perched on chairs, twenty feet in the air, also attached by their necks. I decided my daughter needed to be exposed to a protest. (Yes, I was one of those hippie protesters back in the 70's.) Before school, we drove to the protest site to watch bewildered policeman trying to arrest the demonstrators. Because the students were attached by their necks, the police couldn't take them to jail. My daughter and I sat at the corner, eating bagels, watching the protesters eat stale doughnuts while policeman stood by helplessly. Now that's a new experience to start your day.

The experts say:

Children learn responsibility by seeing their actions have natural consequences. If a dirty soccer uniform is tossed under the bed, there's no need for mom to track it down to wash it. The young soccer star can simply play with a dirty uniform. Was your budding actress supposed to memorize her lines for a school audition? Natural consequences say she'll learn a valuable lesson by seeing how prepared students get parts in the play. It's tough, but parents need to let natural consequences teach their children responsibility. When your child forgets his lunch at home, let him go hungry or figure out how to borrow money. After all, you made the lunch and placed it by the front door. It's your son's job to stick the lunch in his backpack.

Here's what a parent really did:

My sixth grade son constantly forgot his lunch. He didn't like buying school lunches, so I knew he would go hungry if I didn't deliver his lunch. Over time though, I got upset at getting to work late just so he had his lunch. I devised a brilliant plan. The next time he forgot his brown paper lunch bag, I used all my kindergarten art skills to decorate it. This lunch bag was a masterpiece! It had a huge smiley face with plastic wiggle eyes. The hair on the bag consisted of several bright red bows. On the back side I wrote "Mom Loves You!" in various colors with a bold stroke. As a final touch, I added two balloons to the top of the bag. I asked the secretary at the school if I could personally deliver his lunch. Being a mother herself, she beamed in approval. I walked into my son's class saying, "Jeff, here's your lunch. Have a great day!" He never forgot his lunch again.

The experts say:

When children need shots, explain that they will feel pain. Let your child know they can squeeze your hand or give a big "puff" of air as the shot is administered. Ask your doctor to explain why the shot is needed. Hearing the reasons from a "professional" helps April 1, 2005

Here's what a parent really did:

My six year old was raising a fuss about getting her immunization shot. She began crying as we drove up to the doctor's office. After trying to remain rational by explaining the importance of shots, I finally said, "If you don't get this shot today your tongue will turn green and fall out!" She barely made a whimper as the doctor gave her the shot.

Now you can see why parents take me aside to tell me their true stories. They've all asked to remain anonymous also!

(Additional untraditional parenting ideas are found in Silvana's book, Stuffed Animals From the Ceiling Fan: Off the Wall Parenting Ideas That Really Work.)

 

How Parents REALLY Raise Their Children
by Silvana Clark - silvanac@msn.com
http://silvanaclark.com
This article provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com