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Allowance

Published:
2-Jan-2005

by Phillip Valentine

My wife and I have struggled over the years with our children and allowance. The first question we had to answer was “Do we give our kids an allowance?” We firmly believe that our children have chores to help with the upkeep of our home. We also think that an allowance would help motivate them to do their assigned chores. So we do believe in allowance. But “How much?”

Sandy read somewhere that a dollar a week per year of age was one formula. For example, a 10 year old would get $10 a week, an 8 year old $8 a week and so on. We like this system and had tried it a few times, but not with any success or consistency. We’d do it for a few weeks, then not have enough cash on a given allowance day and the system would fall apart. And if you got way behind the cash we had to shell out would have paid a heating bill in the winter! So we’d end up scrapping the whole allowance thing. The kids didn’t like it much and neither did we.

A couple months ago, we were running into some problems with them asking for money for a lot of different things. Joshua wanted some War Hammer guys, games for his GameBoy Advanced SP and GameCube, Sami had assorted desires for candy, videos and some other girl stuff. Matthew just wanted money because his brother and sister had it. Coupled with their desire for cash, was their lack of desire to help with anything around the house. It was getting frustrating for everyone. We held an informal family meeting and came up with a solution.

In my position of running a non-profit agency, I’m used to delegating, so I delegated the tracking of the allowance to my 10 year old son Joshua. We decided Fridays would be “pay day”. Armed with a ruler and a pencil, Joshua took several hours to design a tracking chart that is posted on our refrigerator. I initial every Friday after they have been paid. This system has been in place now for 8 weeks and we’ve had unexpected results, unexpected good results. Surprisingly, Joshua spends his money and Samantha and Matthew save it. I thought Joshua might have been the saver and Samantha the spender. The other amazing response to this system is the kids are very quick to help out with chores and small jobs that are not on their required list. Their helpfulness has increased. There is little frustration and tension about helping around the house. There have been no written rules about losing allowance if chores are not done, but it is implied. We like the way this is working out… so far.

There is power in that chart on the fridge.

Phillip Valentine has a 17-year old daughter from a previous marriage, while he and Sandy have four children Joshua 10, Samantha 8, Matthew 2 and Mary, the newborn. He works as the Executive Director for the Connecticut Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR). See his other columns at www.ccar.us.